Lesson: Shutting Down The Power of Others Words
I’ve seen so many women sharing this post the last few days and I absolutely love it!
And with that said, I’ve seen just as many women in the comments of those shares telling heart breaking stories of how they’ve been insulted for their bodies and maybe even more comments on the post itself doing the insulting and bullying. So today I want to share some wisdom and encourage you to take a step back, open up your perspective, and retrain your brain when it comes to insults from others.
Because often times it is the words of others that we allow to be louder than our own and that we stumble on in this hard journey of self love.
We may not be able to change others but we can make change for ourselves…
And so let’s spill the self love tea…
You know the story, you are just going about your day looking cute and living life when someone (usually a stranger) insults or attacks you for something about your body or your personality shattering your confidence bubble and ruining not just your day but your week, your month, or maybe even your year.
We’ve all been there and you aren’t alone. <3
But as common as this story is, what isn’t as common is the teaching that 99% of people making these comments are doing so because they are projecting their own self hate and insecurities on you in the hopes to make you feel just as bad as they do about themselves. When I first opened my mind to this, I became very aware that someones insult has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. The negative hurtful things they say are merely a reflection of how they feel about themselves on the inside regardless of how they present on the outside and trust that some of them do a great job of appearing completely opposite on the outside of how they truly feel.
Take for example the visible belly outline. If someone tells me my belly outline is f@t, ugly, gross or any other insulting word this is a DIRECT PROJECTION of how they talk to themselves in the mirror reflecting their own personal insecurity with being able to show their belly outline. And yes this is still true whether they are bigger, smaller or the same size as me…
Because in truth it has nothing to do with me, I am merely existing in front of them and my confidence in myself feels assaulting to their own discomfort with not being confident. So it is in that moment when someone is trying to bring me down to their level, that I get to make a choice for myself.
I can decide to let their words hit their target and bring me down to their level…OR I can open my mind to the possibility that I have every right and ability to allow that person to carry their own baggage that needs healing and move on with my beautiful belly life without picking it up.
At the end of our interaction their words have nothing to do with me and it becomes my choice whether I give their words even an ounce of power over me.
Now of course this is easier said than done right?
So I’m gonna give you an actionable practicable step to combat this in real time.
The next time someone insults you or your body try this….Turn every “you, your, and yours” into the real words “me, my, and mine”. In doing this you will reframe their words and understand what is truly going on inside providing you the understanding that these words have nothing to do with you and can therefore be disregarded as the useless unsolicited judgement that they are.
Because the steaming hot tea we and spilling here is that women who are confident in their bodies and feel beautiful do not project these kinds of negative thoughts and words onto others. And once you’ve truly mastered the hardest body to love, which is your own, you want every woman to feel as beautiful as you do regardless of size.
So the next time someone insults your body, personality or life take a moment before you absorb those words and make them “law”. Remind yourself that no one has any right to have a louder opinion about you than you do and their baggage doesn’t need to become yours. You can leave that shit at the airport with a big red tag stamped “unclaimed baggage”
As for me, my and mine we will continue to navigate this world as a loud and proud living reminder and coach that self love is possible for every women who is ready to do the work, because sometimes what you need is to be told you are worthy, capable and beautiful and all you have to do is keep going 😉